Names!

People who need people
Are the luckiest people in the world.
- Barbra Streisand song

One of the hardest things to remember is a person’s name. My wife and I once sent a Christmas card to an old friend and used the wrong first name for her new husband. Research shows that even after 50 years you can remember many of the faces from your High School Year book but the names are a distant memory. The reason is that names have no meaning. You may recall relevant personal facts like a friend’s hometown or job because these are talking points and something you can relate to. But there is rarely any cosmic meaning to whether a person is named Joe or John.

So in order to remember a name you must assign it some meaning. I once knew a fellow train commuter named George. To remember the name I linked it to the cartoon and song “George of the Jungle”. When I saw the person I’d think of the song and the name. Another example. For some reason I kept forgetting the name of musician Jethro Tull whose music I like. So I linked the name to the phrase, “For whom the bell tolls” and that reminds me of Tull and then I can remember Jethro.

Many websites teach that the way to remember names is repetition:

When you are first introduced to someone, use their names several times when you talk to them. “Hi, Jim, nice to meet you. So, what do you do for a living Jim? Do you have any kids, Jim? Jim, it was great to meet you!” If you don’t catch their name when it was originally told to you, ask for it again and then use it.

I’m skeptical. There are many things in school I learned via repetition that are now gone. On the other hand, I do remember things that used memory aids like HOMES for the names of the Great Lakes. Or “A rat in Tom’s house might eat Tom’s ice cream” to spell arithmetic. If Jim mentioned above were slender I might link him to “Slim Jim”. But be careful never to let it slip out and say it aloud!

I have an uncommon last name so when I introduce myself to people I often say, “Kibble, as in Kibbles and Bits”. I hope this helps them to remember me.

Bottom Line

Each of us has different responses to stimuli. I tend to forget what I hear and remember what I see. At meetings I take notes so that I can see the words that must be recalled for later. Likewise names are more meaningful to me when they are written down and spelled. Perhaps I should imagine people wearing their name as a nametag or written on their forehead?

See http://www.43folders.com/2006/07/10/remember-names for more ideas.