Are You Smarter Than a Turkey?

"I love Thanksgiving turkey... It's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts." — Arnold Schwarzenegger

I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving and the turkey turned out perfectly. If it didn't, next time call a Turkey Talk-Line for help. Most turkey companies have operators standing by to assist. The Reuters news agency interviewed call-takers at Butterball to discover the oddest questions asked:

*Is it okay to thaw my turkey in the bathtub while bathing my kids?

*Can I brine my turkey in the washing machine?

*Can I use my oven's self-cleaning cycle to speed up the cooking process?

*If I cut my turkey with a chainsaw will the oil affect the taste?

*Can I take my frozen turkey into my sauna to thaw it faster?

Bottom Line

How would you answer these questions?

Has this ever happened to you?  A disappointed woman called Butterball wondering why her turkey had no breast meat. It turned out she had cooked it upside-down