Team Work

All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest--never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principle of equal partnership.
-Ann Landers, “Says Truth Is Stranger...”, 1968

I’m fortunate that my wife shares a passion for preparedness. She was very involved during Y2K in purchasing a wheat grinder, water filters, and building up our food store. She learned to make bread from scratch and has been trying to grow a vegetable garden.

However not all homes are so like-minded. I enjoyed reading the story, A Prepper Husband and a Stubborn Wife, at SurvivalBlog.com. The husband, a Marine, wants to prepare. His wife is not interested. So he tries to prepare stealthily by encouraging family campouts, a vegetable garden, and so on. But the plan backfires when his wife finds his secret preparedness check-off list. As he puts it, “I won't go into detail about how terrible that night was when I got home, but it's safe to say that my plans for being ready were placed on hold.”

Fortunately the story has a happy ending. The wife’s eyes are later opened to the risks of modern society and she agrees to prepare. In Part 4 of the story, JRM describes the actions they take together like trimming the budget, establishing action plans (SOP or Standard Operation Procedures) for different emergencies, organizing supplies, and mapping out evacuation routes and evacuation destinations. JRM states, “I feel that at this stage we would be ahead of the hordes of people trying to evacuate the east coast.”

Bottom Line

The author concludes with this advice:

• You have work as a team with your spouse
• You have to prepare spiritually to stay motivated
• Avoid becoming overwhelmed by doing a little something every single day to prepare
• Find like minded friends or a preparedness support group.
• You have to have a plan (but expect it to fail).
  “It is easier to adjust a plan or fall back on a contingency than it is to shoot from the hip.”

A Family Affair

“Motivation is the art of getting people to do what you want them to do because they want to do it.” - Dwight D. Eisenhower

Emergency Preparedness has to be a family affair. While one prepared individual can make a difference, there is just no way that one person can carry all the supplies needed for a spouse and kids. (Think two liters of water per person per day).

Do everything you can to make preparedness a family activity. I covered some ideas in Buy Yourself a Christmas Present. For example, each family member can buy a holiday gift for the family go-kit(s). Something they want to have on hand if forced to evacuate from home.

Turn fire safety into a family adventure. Have the kids check out the batteries on the fire alarms and assist in home fire inspections and fire drills. Turn it into a game. How fast can they get out of the house? If the front door is blocked, what other clever ways can they think of to get out?

Family campouts are a great way to practice outdoors skills, fire making, and wilderness cooking. Go out on a family hike. This provides exercise and you can teach map reading/compass skills. Teach your kids about poison ivy, snakes and other things to be wary of outdoors.

Bottom Line

The worst-case scenario is when you’re gung-ho for preparedness and your spouse thinks you’re crazy. Check out How your spouse feels about your preparedness efforts by Joseph Parish for ideas on changing your spouse’s mind.

P.S. Happy Proposal Day to my wife. It was 18 years ago on June 12 that I proposed marriage and she accepted.

Sharing with your Spouse

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with
twenty-eight years ago. - Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)

Clearing out old papers this morning I came across a list of information that spouses (or significant others) should share. These include company names & address, phone numbers, email, account ID & password for the following...

• Utility companies: gas, water, electric, telephone, cable TV, cell phone
• Contractors: plumbing, air-conditioning, auto repair, lawn mowing, etc
• Professionals like lawyers, financial advisers, and doctors.
• What is your preferred hospital and health insurance?
• Life insurance, Home/Fire insurance, car insurance.
• Caregivers (like babysitters) for your children or elderly parents
• Medications and dosage taken by family members
• School & teachers for your children
• Relatives and friends to contact in an emergency
• Tax preparer or location of past tax information
• Outstanding loans
• Retirement plans
• Credit cards, bank account, CDs

Bottom Line

If there are assets you don't own jointly, arrange for your spouse to have "Power of Attorney" in case you die or are incapacitated. See also my earlier blog, Death - JT TEN WROS regarding Joint Tenant with Right of Surviorship. Other blogs on this topic include what important papers to collect and how to keep them safe, Protecting your Go-Kit Contents, and Who gets your 401(k) when you're dead?

In our house we entered this information into an excel spreadsheet, attached a password to it for privacy and printed out a copy stored in an non-obvious location. We also put a copy of this information on my parents computer and backed it up on flash drives we carry with us.